I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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