just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
