Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
