I'm lost and stupid without you.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
