i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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