I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize