Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Boobs are out for the taking
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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