you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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