His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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