If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm like, not good at living.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
