What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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