And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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