can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize