First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
