I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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