Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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