He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just gargled with NyQuil
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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