there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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