I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Did I show you my penis last night?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize