he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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