but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
