does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
