I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
