Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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