Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
