he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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