If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
