He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize