ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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