either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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