Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
