I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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