remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
