My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
