you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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