OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
