I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
