Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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