NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
