yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she told me i tasted like america
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My dick has a subreddit
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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