I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
