you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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