i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
