there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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