But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
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