Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My nipple is on Facebook.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
