Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
