Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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