Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
