White coat. Heels.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
