I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize