I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize