I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
