Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize