I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
it's like heaven, but drunker
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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