Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
