; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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