we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize