perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
