A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
