so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
