Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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