You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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