You're my little dorito
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
