my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
