You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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