Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
